Friday, May 30, 2014

twitter feed

I have had a Twitter account forever. Well, since 2010. I guess four years feels like forever to me. The point is, it has taken me those four years to completely understand what that tweet thing is all about. Which means, it is on it's way out. Thank you, Snapchat.

Be that as it may, I will share something I found on the Twitter and also shamelessly beg for more Twitter followers.

Follow me.

Now that, that is over with. I found the Twitter feed for The basic concept is that they post texts sent from the night before. But here is a quote explaining it from their website.

Texts From Last Night (TFLN) was founded in February 2009 by two friends for reasons that may or may not include: the tendency to press send more easily as the night turns to morning, friends' social habits, disgraced government officials, exes, law school, closing down bars and leaving tabs open, general debauchery and/or a common disgust for all the negativity surrounding the 'sexting' phenomenon.
We prefer texts, not conversations. We reserve the right to post portions of conversations without duplicating the entire thing. It's not because the entire thing isn't funny, but the funniest texts are those we can all relate to, so without the context of the conversation, they become really funny.
Our goal was to create a site that was revealing in nature while concealing the identity of everyone involved. This is why we only ask for an area code to accompany your text messages.
We don't want texts that are offensive to the point of being viciously personal, racist, exceedingly profane, violent or excessively graphic in nature. It's a very hard thing to judge, but we'll do our best.
Here are a few of my favorite texts from their Twitter feed.

(917): Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
(989): Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok.
(610): I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
(585): No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
(843): My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
(703): How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go? (Response 202): She didn't like my gingervitis joke.
(661): I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now.
(731): I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
(216): You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
(412): Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour.
(361): I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
(310): Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.

You are welcome. (I am aware you didn't thank me yet.)

Thursday, May 29, 2014

throwback thursday

When did that phrase come to be? Throwback Thursday. 

I suppose I could look it up but I am just too damn lazy to troll around the internet looking for answers. As if that two minutes of mouse-and-click googling is really going to set me back.

So, I guess I will post a photo in commemoration of today's reminiscence, that happens to be on a Thursday.

The back story? I had just got back from living in Los Angeles. It was winter in Chicago, but not particularly cold. That was nine years ago. 

I remember feeling out of place. I remember not caring that it was raining. I missed the cold rain of my home city. My friend let me borrow his hat and started taking pictures of me. I let him, which is unusual for me since I am not one to be in front of the camera. When I look at the picture, I can almost hear the ambient sounds of car tires splashing on the wet street.

And now, here is a list of other randomness that is gathering dust in my mind.

1. I talked to a stranger on Skype the other day. He tried to have cybersex with me and failed. Reason number one that he failed? He used the word  "knickers" as he is British. Even if I was in a sexual mood, and felt the urge to entertain such musings, it wouldn't be him. It would be Andy that I would want to please.

Not only was he a terrible conversationalist and completely single minded the usage of "knickers", it was also a sexual no-no. That term makes me think of large white granny panties, bed pans, and being fed mushed up bananas.

2. My low latent inhibition is getting worse. Which is an uncommon personality trait. The basics of LLI? You notice more, hear more, smell more and feel more through tactile contact. Without any conscious effort, your mind is in possession of a broader intake of information. Short story, LLI is making me impatient with people.

3. I actually had someone message me this, "Why are you 32?" I responded with, "That whole being born in 1981 and time thing." As it turns out, I was mistaken for a teenager. I am not sure if I feel complimented or offended.

4. A few days ago, I was accused of being "needy" and "too flirtatious" by a person I was talking to for the second time. It was because I was being polite and attentive. I sent them a link to something I thought they would enjoy. Apparently that meant, to their ego, that I was trying to steal their soul and marry them. Regardless of the fact I am so very taken and didn't say anything weird to them.

5. I spent fourteen hours writing today. Because of that everything I am saying is coming out with diction and pomp.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

the melting pot of variance

I have realized that a person needs variance. There is just something fundamentally genetic about the need to gain unique information. Without this newness, we become stagnant and bored.

This thought started when I considered the little things that have been indoctrinated into my personality from other people. A saying here. A habit there. A new food. A new idea. A new joke.

I am already prone to picking up random mannerisms and facts from others. However, I think we all in some way become a melting pot of the people in our lives. So when we meet a new person that interests us, it is that taste of something fresh that we are drawn to. A moth to a flame.

Anyways, I wish I would have realized this sooner in my life. I mean, I know all those lovely five second sayings that mothers dish out to their daughters.

"You are a direct reflection of the company you keep."

"Only surround yourself with people who lift you up not bring you down."

"Bad company, corrupts good character."

So on and so forth...

But, that doesn't change the fact that I now understand this on another level. 
Epiphany reached.

My new goal? Interact with as many people outside of my comfort zone as possible.

Saturday, May 10, 2014


I have a hard time saying goodbye. I naturally just don't see the point. 

At one time, this inability to say goodbye was so unconscious that I would just leave a social event unannounced. Yes, I am aware that is a rude. However, with all my other quirks it became a charming thing people would talk about in reference to me. 

"What happened to Lu?"
"Oh you know how she is...I wouldn't worry too much about it." 

Maybe I like leaving things open ended? Maybe I don't need closure? Maybe I don't need an ending? Maybe I just don't feel like stating the obvious? Maybe I think that a temporary goodbye is ridiculous? That wouldn't even be a goodbye would it? 

For that matter, If I didn't greet you when you were born, should I send a farewell when you die?