Friday, May 30, 2014

twitter feed

I have had a Twitter account forever. Well, since 2010. I guess four years feels like forever to me. The point is, it has taken me those four years to completely understand what that tweet thing is all about. Which means, it is on it's way out. Thank you, Snapchat.

Be that as it may, I will share something I found on the Twitter and also shamelessly beg for more Twitter followers.

Follow me.
Beg.

Now that, that is over with. I found the Twitter feed for www.textsfromlastnight.com/. The basic concept is that they post texts sent from the night before. But here is a quote explaining it from their website.

Texts From Last Night (TFLN) was founded in February 2009 by two friends for reasons that may or may not include: the tendency to press send more easily as the night turns to morning, friends' social habits, disgraced government officials, exes, law school, closing down bars and leaving tabs open, general debauchery and/or a common disgust for all the negativity surrounding the 'sexting' phenomenon.
We prefer texts, not conversations. We reserve the right to post portions of conversations without duplicating the entire thing. It's not because the entire thing isn't funny, but the funniest texts are those we can all relate to, so without the context of the conversation, they become really funny.
Our goal was to create a site that was revealing in nature while concealing the identity of everyone involved. This is why we only ask for an area code to accompany your text messages.
We don't want texts that are offensive to the point of being viciously personal, racist, exceedingly profane, violent or excessively graphic in nature. It's a very hard thing to judge, but we'll do our best.
Here are a few of my favorite texts from their Twitter feed.

(917): Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
(989): Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok.
(610): I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
(585): No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
(843): My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
(703): How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go? (Response 202): She didn't like my gingervitis joke.
(661): I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now.
(731): I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
(216): You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
(412): Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour.
(361): I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
(310): Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.

You are welcome. (I am aware you didn't thank me yet.)

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