Thursday, January 7, 2016

throwback thursday (the poet edition)

There is a wonderful lack of photos of my teenage years. I have always dodged the camera. However, there are some pictures circulating (much to my displeasure). The following picture is of me and my friend Ryan, being particularly "anti".

I seem  to be pleased with the whole situation. After this picture I am sure I said something like, "Yeah. You showed that camera who's boss." and Ryan would respond with something equally sardonic. Because that is who we were, and seemingly who we still are.

The last conversation I had with him was a random message series I posted on his Facebook. As, we bonded mainly over music and words (I thought we could continue that pattern), But mainly, I read his words from time to time from the secrecy of the internet, as our lives have been dually separate but parallel for a long time. 

Here I share a bit of my past and present with this poem by Ryan.

Fear of Public Speaking
By: Ryan Paul Schaefer

Podiums understanding
Events of pure sensibility
Saddling the edge, a wooden wheel
Wheeling always under and under again.
The doctrinal preposition, of.
Dwell and attend, the best model another concentration
Of light.  Repeat: Dwell, attend…

—what must we do?--

I will put on the green hat,
Get in the car and
Toward the hospital,
Where the sick,
Dying and dead are kept,
Ask questions, report back.

But first, I brush my lips with the reddest, red lipstick,
To speak any other way is baseless, is naked talk,
A wet paper bag full of seashells.

If one goes on repeating, all there is is sound.
So hum home to sense the apparatus
Of a closed mouth.  Carry forth for
Only the carrying of forth, for the open goal.
Un-kept, memory’s need of the animal,
The body’s history dwelling interminably,
Location’s necessity.

So build boats.  Bamboo boats with conversations
About god inscribed on every blank sheaf.
I will, with no oars, no sails, no offing set by
Call to the tower. I can call to anywhere,
Though I must wash my lips first,
For the beginning air turning red also.

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