Friday, May 13, 2016

love and goodbyes

I tell people I love them a lot. This is not to degrade love in anyway. This is to say that in many ways I have a capacity to love on many levels. I find it upsetting that we have few words for such a varied emotion. 

I remember my friend talking about a conversation he had with his girlfriend. He said, "She said I'm in-lust-with-you and I said it back..." How oddly definite of that feeling that goes beyond a simple crush. 

There are other times when I talk all about my "non-sexual-crushes". These crushes are on moments, things, sometimes people I want to bottle up and carry around in my pocket. I simply like these things more than is probably normal/healthy.

Sanskrit has 96 words for love. Even Tamil (a modern offshoot of Sanskrit roots) has at least 30 words for love.

  • aṇi (அணி) (sweet, closeness type of love) 
  • *aruḷ (அருள்) (love as grace) 
  • aḻi (அழி) - melt in love 
  • *aḷi (அளி) - love, aḷiyan = lover, (aḷiyē means 'Oh Love') 
  • This also comes from closeness, dearliness as love 
  • *aṉbu (அன்பு) (all encompassing Love in the deepest sense) 
  • āṇam (ஆணம்) (affection, feeling soul-embracing love) 
  • ārvam (ஆர்வம்) (pouring affection) 
  • imiḻ (இமிழ்) (loving bond, attachment, dear-bond, also means fullness of love) 
  • iḻai (இழை) (tender and kind love) 
  • iṉpam ( இன்பம்) (love in happiness or fulfilling relation) 
  • *īram (ஈரம்) (love, tender, soft-feeling towards another; also pity, compassion) 
  • *uruku (உருகு) (melting inside due to love) 
  • *uvakai (உவகை) (love in happiness or fulfilling relation) 
  • uḻuval (உழுவல்) (love soaked in deep feelings) 
  • uṟu (உறு) (the word உறவு = relation come from this) 
  • *kaṉivu (கனிவு) (tender, kind love) 
  • *kātal (காதல்) (Love. Most common word used for the love between man and woman, but it is also used for the feeling of man to God, passion for something etc.) 
  • takai (தகை) (graceful, kind affectionate love) 
  • taṇ (தண்) - தண்ணளி means deep, great love. (kind, affectionate love) 
  • *nacai (நசை) (fondness, dear love) 
  • *nēyam (நேயம்) (fondness, dear love) 
  • *naṇpu (நண்பு) - the word friend நண்பண் comes from this word 
  • nattu (நத்து) (wanting to be close out of love, loving feeling) 
  • nayappu (நயப்பு) - sweet love 
  • nār (நார்) [அன்பு. நலத்தின் கண் நாரின்மை தோன்றின் is a well-known Tirukkural line) (affectionate bond, love) 
  • niṇaṟu (நிணறு) (love in heart) 
  • neñcam (நெஞ்சம்) (love in heart) 
  • *nekkuruku (நெக்குருகு) (cascading melting due to love) 
  • ney (நெய்) (melting in the heart due to love) 
  • *nē (நே) (Love) 
  • nērcci (நேர்ச்சி) (Feeling of love) 
  • *paṟṟu (பற்று) (attachment, affection, love) 
  • *patti (பத்தி) ((attachment, affection, love, often towards God) 
  • piṇai (பிணை) (attachment, bond, love) 
  • *pācam (பாசம்) (feeling of deeply connected love) 
  • pukaṟci (புகற்சி) (feeling love; often talking, dwelling in this feeling) 
  • purivu (புரிவு) (kindness, love) 
  • peḷ, peṭpu (பெள், பெட்பு) (dearness of feeling as love) 
  • mātimai (மாதிமை) (love, attachment) 
  • māl (மால்) (love , desire.) 
  • māṉam (மானம்) (affectionate love) 
  • muttu (முத்து) (endearing love) 
  • muḻuval (முழுவல்) See உழுவல் above 
  • mēvu (மேவு) (to love, to desire, to embrace) 
  • maintu (மைந்து) (feeling love towards a woman) 
  • *maiyal (மையல் (Love- in man-woman ) 
  • vayavu (வயவு) (deep sense of attachment and love) 
  • vāram (வாரம்) (feeling of attachment, feeling of connected) 
  • *viruppam (விருப்பம் (longing, attachment, kind, love) 
  • viḻai (விழை) ( (longing, attachment, kind, love) 
  • *vēḷ (வேள் (love, endearing love, friendship)

But in English, all we have is love.
That bothers me.

Do people from these places look at my words and wonder how I can express my love to others? Is it similar to the way I see the Japanese "I like you alot" culture being incomplete? (The Japanese don't really utilize the word love. They say 好きです。 (すきです。) I like you and大好きです。 (だいすきです。) I love you. 好き (literally: like) and 大好き (literally: like a lot). )

I feel the same way about goodbye. Anytime, I say goodbye I cringe. Therefor, I try not to. It seems so final. It feels like the Japanese sayonara さよなら. A term that westerners misuse. (This is what you say as a final goodbye, as in when someone dies.) 

Even if we had used a word like Aloha, it would make more sense to me. I want a word that means, "I will see you again." or a word that means, "Next time my friend." That would be nice.

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