Wednesday, July 26, 2017

i am a cat

Everybody knows this about me and the other day I found a terrible book of "poems" written from the perspective of a cat. It vaguely reminded me of Sad Cat Diary by zefrank1.

The book is called I Could Pee on This and Other Poems by Cats by Francesco Marciuliano. Here are two poems from the book that amused me.


Nudge nudge nudge 
Nudge nudge nudge nudge nudge nudge
Your glass just shattered on the floor

Elegy for a toy I broke 

You no longer jingle
You no longer roll
You no longer do anything
Since I had to see what made you work

I can´t deal with all this guilt
I can´t express my deep, deep grief
I can´t believe what a cheap piece of crap you were
Seriously, I hardly touched you before you broke

Monday, July 17, 2017

my mom is a hoarder or the purge

Ages ago (in the time of AOL and floppy discs), I stumbled upon a webpage dedicated to a young Englishman's plight with his mother's hoarding problem. This was also before THE show dedicated to the worst of the hoarding community. So, that webpage was my first exposure to the truth that my mother was a hoarder.

Luckily for me, she is manageable. Her problem is that she buys thrift store trinkets much faster than she (meaning my father) can donate them back to the thrift store. My parent's tiny two bedroom apartment has become more of a museum of needlepoint pillows, brass owls, glass paperweights, and flame-less candles.

The "junk lady" from the movie Labyrinth is an accurate representation of my mother and me.
Photo Courtesy:

Unfortunately, this has given me a complex. I find myself cringing when I have more than two of anything. I find myself questioning the amount of cups I have or if the amount of towels I have are acceptable. There are even digital examples of my need to remove the clutter, where I delete anything I deem unnecessary from social media.

I call it, "the purge". 

Recently, I realized that this might actually be a positive compulsion. That this "complex" is actually...dare I say; a healthy habit. As the old adage goes, "a clean home is a clear mind". 

That is what spring cleaning is all about right?

So I have two systems to accomplish what is "needed" that I will share with you:

Phase I

Ask yourself five simple questions when wondering if you should keep a particular item:

  1. Can I function with out this item?
  2. What is the worst situation that would come of being without this item?
  3. Is it more useful to someone else?
  4. When was the last time I used this item?
  5. Does it cultivate my deepest happiness in some way?

Phase II

This is a quick list of things to remove or organize per room:

Living Room
Before organizing shelves and drawers I throw out or replace:

  1. Kick-knacks that are making a surface unusable
  2. Paper items not limited to; books, magazines, newspapers, letters, manuals, etc.
  3. Games, cds, dvds, or blu-rays
  4. Unused toys (for both pets, kids, or grown-ups)
  5. Unused electronics
  6. Unused pens or lighters
  7. Unused pillows or throws
  8. Old candles or air freshener
  9. Old decor or curtains
  10. Broken, torn or incomplete items

Before organizing shelves and drawers I throw out or replace:

  1. Expired items in the fridge, freezer, or cabinets
  2. Old or near-empty bottles
  3. Unused or extra utensils
  4. Unused containers, jars, or plastic-ware
  5. Unused books or menus
  6. Unused or rusting cookware
  7. Unused cups or mugs
  8. Unused cleaning items or pet items
  9. Unused electronics
  10. Take out or paper items

Before organizing shelves and drawers I throw out or replace:

  1. Old or near-empty bottles
  2. Old makeup or polish
  3. Old brushes
  4. Old candles or air freshener
  5. Old decor or curtains
  6. Old towels or mats
  7. Expired or sample-sized items
  8. Unused electronics

Before organizing shelves and drawers I throw out or replace:
  1. Old candles or air freshener
  2. Old decor, pillows, or curtains
  3. Old towels, sheets, or bedding
  4. Old socks or underwear
  5. Old shirts or pants
  6. Stained items
  7. Clothes that do not fit
  8. Clothes you never wear
  9. Scarves, purses, jewelry, or shoes
  10. Items without pairs like socks or gloves
  11. Hangers
  12. Unused electronics
  13. Broken, torn or incomplete items
Office or Creative Space
Before organizing shelves and drawers I throw out or replace:

  1. Kick-knacks that are making a surface unusable
  2. Paper items not limited to; books, magazines, newspapers, letters, manuals, wrapping paper, folders, business cards etc.
  3. Games, cds, dvds, or blu-rays
  4. Old cords or ink cartridges
  5. Old candles or air freshener
  6. Old decor or curtains
  7. Old photos or documents
  8. Old vouchers or coupons
  9. Old pens, pencils, markers or art supplies
  10. Old or unused fabric or notions
  11. Unused electronics
  12. Broken, torn or incomplete items

Online or Digital

  1. Unsubscribe from email sites
  2. Delete and organize emails
  3. Sort and name folders
  4. Sort and update personal contact or email lists
  5. Sort and delete old documents
  6. Sort and delete old games
  7. Sort and delete old music
  8. Sort and delete old images
  9. Organize images by year or subject
  10. Empty browser and spam folders
  11. Remove any large files like movies or project files

Purse or Personal
  1. Paper items not limited to; business cards, tickets, coupons, napkins, notes, lanyards etc.
  2. Hair items not limited to; bobby pins, rubber bands, etc.
  3. Jewelery
  4. Cosmetic items
  5. Change
  6. Eyewear
  7. Perfume or cologne
  8. Unused items
  9. Broken or incomplete items

Friday, July 7, 2017

kinderwhore, candy darling, nancy spungen, and courtney love

Candy Darling Dancing
Photo Courtesy: Pictures of Beautiful Darling Documentary via
What if I told you that the picture above was not of Courtney Love but of Candy Darling, a transgender actress from the sixties? Would you believe me? Well, I hope you do because that is Candy Darling dancing in a VERY Courtney Love fashion.

Who was Candy Darling you ask? She was one of Andy Warhol's Superstars, like Edie Sedgwick. Candy spent a lot of time in Warhol's company both socially and at the Warhol's infamous Factory. The song Take a Walk on the Wild side by Lou Reed was partially written about Candy. The Smiths cover art for Sheila Take a Bow was an image of Candy's face. The song Candy Says by The Velvet Underground was written about her and how she felt betrayed by the gender she was born with.

She was in fact before her time and taken from this world too soon (in 1974).

Candy Darling Wearing a Baby Doll Dress
Photo Courtesy:

I like to tell people that it was Candy Darling that invented the "kinderwhore" style of fashion popularized by Courtney Love. In the sixties short dresses were already the modern style. However, Candy wanted to have a more classy and sometimes innocently girly look than what was popular with  her peers. Unfortunately (or fortunately), Candy was quiet tall giving her dresses the almost doll-like look that is synonymous with kinderwhore.

I also like to take it one step further and postulate that Courtney Love modeled a lot of her early persona after Candy Darling (and Nancy Spungen but I will get to that in a minute). In the following images you can see pictures of Candy wearing a heart shaped locket

Left: Candy Darling in Dressing Room
Right: Candy Darling with Tennessee Williams
Photos Courtesy: and

The icon of a heart was also used predominantly by Courtney Love in much of her early years. I always felt like this was another nod to Candy Darling's look. (Yes, I am aware of the connection of hearts to her surname and Nirvana's Heart Shaped Box.)

Left: Courtney Love and Hole
Middle: Courtney Love with Heart Dress
Right: Courtney Love Editoral with Heart Locket
Photos Courtesy:,, and

What is interesting is that Nancy Spungen also wore a heart shaped locket seen in these photos.
Left: Iggy Pop, Nancy Spungen (back), and Cyrinda Foxe
Middle: Nancy Spungen
Right: Sable Starr and Nancy Spungen
Nancy Spunge was dubbed, "Nauseating Nancy" by the press. She was famous for being Sid Vicious's (from the Sex Pistols) other half. She was also a prostitute and a drug dealer -- and not shy about it. Nancy was known for being blunt, loud, and out of control. Yet, somehow Sid and Nancy were in love. Unfortunately, their romance came to a tragic end.

On October 12, 1978, Nancy was found dead under sink with a stab wound in her hotel. Sid was arrested for her murder. The case never went to court because he soon thereafter overdosed and died.
I can't help seeing Sid and Nancy's demented love story, far too similar to that of Courtney Love's and Kurt Cobain's (from Nirvana). Obviously, they did not have the same narrative or ending. Courtney Love is still alive and kicking. However, their lives had similar chaos and acts of self destructive behavior to Sid and Nancy.

Courtney Love's own love-story ended in gruesome death of Kurt Cobain. But before that, the comparison of her image to the image of Nancy Spungen was lost on no one. Kurt Cobain himself said, "She looked like Nancy Spungen [when he first met Courtney] and I probably could have fucked her that night." And when Courtney Love auditioned for a part in the movie Sid and Nancy she exclaimed, "I am Nancy!"

I find that I have to agree. 

In fact, I have always seen the public image of Courtney Love (in the nineties at least) as a weird mashup of Candy Darling and Nancy Spungen. It is as if she idolized these two characters and formed a temporary identity around them. Leaving her core identity untouched. Maybe it is just a coincidence. Maybe not. I just can't help think that Courtney Love took what she needed and came out the other side.

I'll leave you with these two quotes from Courtney Love and let you decide.

"Drag queens taught me how to be a rock star." - Courtney Love
"Nancy was stupid." - Courtney Love