Wednesday, January 24, 2018

the subtle art of actually giving a f*ck

I recently read the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and I think the biggest problem with this book is that I give a fuck. I give many fucks and yet, with all these fucks I give, I still live "the good life".

Now to be devil's advocate, this book does talk about caring about the things that matter. This displays the basic understanding that the difficulty to define what matters is often a massive roadblock to happiness. We think all these things matter, when in fact they don't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

But, let's go back.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck written by Mark Manson isn't a self-help book. It reads more like a personal manifesto of someone lost in their own misguided choices. There are also some suggestions that sway far from fact, heading straight into opinion. This wouldn't be an issue if these ideas weren't presented as facts.

As a person who has always asked myself, "Will this thing bother me in twenty years?" A lot of Manson's ideas aren't terribly ground breaking. Sometimes they are actually conflicting.

Newsflash Mr. Manson: It is through caring that you are able to force yourself to "not care". "Not caring" is actually a form of repression and not a "good thing" to encourage unless it happens naturally through something called acceptance.

What is truly troubling is the braggadocious way he talks about himself and treats others. He acts as if his terrible decisions of his youth are behind him and yet they are not. I am not sure why he feels the need to share half his anecdotes or make the suggestion that entitlement can be healthy. It can't. Sorry Mr. Manson. Nor do I accept his uninformed conclusions about things like false memories. Which show his lack of understanding of psychology all together. There is also the issue of him confusing "sharing truth in an empathetic way" with his own brand of "being honest in a hurtful way". Lastly,  a lot of his writing could make a person feel like their own problems are trivial. It is almost like he is subconsciously gas-lighting the reader from the pages of his book.

Weirdly, I think this will work for people who share his particular brand of anger. I also, think it will help some people that, "don't know how to let go". As I have neither of these problems, I am generally unimpressed with the whole thing. But, I understand that it feeds an audience, so he earns a certain amount of credit for that. 

I'll just continue my art of actually giving a f*ck and remain a person that doesn't share in his angry-struggle-brand.

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